Ooh la la! Got you looking eh?
I have to say, what I’m about to present is not what we’d commonly think. If you’re thinking real intimacy starts with some body part, well, sorry but body parts are not the focus of this post today. Good news is, real intimacy goes deeper, and juicier! And it doesn’t even need 2 people!
Lasting roots of real intimacy, invoke the feeling of closeness, of being able to bare-all emotionally speaking. The feeling of, hey… it’s ok to feel vulnerable. Being ok to accept all parts of ourselves – to accept the good feelings we have about ourselves, and also, to accept the feelings towards aspects of ourselves that are so-called, “work-in-progress”.
So let’s say, “I love the aspect of me that finds beauty in life easily.” Wonderful. That’s easy to accept within ourselves. We feel good thinking that.
At the same time, the same person may also think, “Grr… I so wish I could get rid of this shadow-side of me that gets annoyed easily when … [insert circumstance].” There is usually a strong, unconscious tendency to push away this shadow-aspect of oneself that exists in just about any living human being. (Meaning, it’s a common thing to do, and you and I are not the only ones to do that ok, whew… )
But what if, we can open up to the possibility that it’s ok to simply observe, and acknowledge openly – to ourselves – that we have this icky feeling of not wanting to accept this facet of ourselves in the first place? What if, by wholly acknowledging this icky feeling as-is, is all that’s needed to feel more complete, and closer to ourselves?
Why is it important to feel close to ourselves? When we feel closer to ourselves, we are in fact, coming into greater self-acceptance. The power of that is that, it leads to greater self-love, and greater compassion within ourselves and for others. When we love ourselves more, we then have more capacity to see and love others as they are too. Just as we can’t make another healthier by becoming sicker, so too is it important that we accept ourselves just as we are, first. Then our ability to support and love others, grows naturally.
So you see, intimacy can totally start with self-acceptance, which leads to closeness or intimacy with self, from which a real connection with others can grow and strengthen effortlessly. You won’t even have to think about it. It just comes.
Nice approach eh?