Many beautiful souls can’t help beating themselves up and blame themselves when things don’t seem to go in a more desirable way. And the thing is, this self-defeating mental action doesn’t seem to want to stop, right? I’ve been there. And now, it still happens sometimes, but definitely way less than before.
In the past, I beat myself up until I sent myself crying. And every time I noticed myself beating myself up, I would say, “Doh. There I go again! I -shouldn’t- have beat myself up!” And then, the next moment, I go, “Grrr… there… I just beat myself up for beating myself up! Again! What a curse… Aarrrghhh!” You know what I mean, and hopefully you’re laughing 🙂
The truth is, I was using my negativity, as a reason to add to more negativity. What I needed to do instead, which I finally did do when I decided that I had enough of this pattern, was one or a combination of the following
- Pause. As in, STOP whatever you’re doing, and take a deep breath.
- Tell yourself, “How I feel, is how I feel, and it’s not wrong to feel this way. It’s just how I feel, and it’s ok. I am willing to honor myself for acknowledging honestly that I’m deeply frustrated. “
- Remind yourself, “I don’t feel like that all the time. It’s only sometimes that I feel like that. This too, shall pass.”
- Go do something more based in the body – like exercise, gardening… and soon your thoughts will chill and take a different direction. After all, you’ve done that and noticed how you do feel better after that, right?
There are many more ways, and the key is to give your self some ROOM, some space, to settle. From my experience and working with others, this pattern arises from the root thought, “I’m not good enough.” If this resonates with you, simply acknowledge, “I’m doing my best to feel better, and my best is good enough.”
Remember… Good enough is good enough… even if you feel just a whiff of truth in this statement, you can give a focused intent to let this feeling of truth amplify.
And in time, it DOES.