Are you feeling “just not yourself” because something has happened and threw you out of balance? Perhaps you’ve noticed that feeling this way is part of a larger recurring pattern in your life.
And then a part of you keeps questioning, “Why, Why, Why.” “Why is this happening to me?” “What have I done wrong?”
First of all, let’s acknowledge your beautiful self-awareness!
On one hand, there’s nothing wrong with self-reflection and understanding from the logical standpoint why things are happening the way they are. Well and good – that is, if it’s helping you, and the same pattern of happenings stops there.
On the other hand, chances are, you’re also starting to notice that there is a pattern of happenings, that triggers the same pattern of thoughts and feelings within yourself.
And now, you’re coming to a point where you find that getting into a circle of navel-gazing and self-criticism hasn’t helped you move out of this pattern either.
Frustrating as it feels, take heart. Because actually, this is a very interesting point to be. It’s very likely that you’re standing at a place of being more an observer self, veering on being curious about the underlying cause of this pattern. Meaning, you start asking, “Why do some particular things happen in the way they do in my life when they don’t happen the same to everybody on the planet? And more practically speaking, how can I turn this around for my growth?”
Having such a sense of curiosity like an observer gives you a higher vantage point to see how else you can approach your situation. Or more directly – how to change your self. This is the point where you’re ripe and ready for change.
I’d say, at this point, ride on your curiosity.
I find that the harshest self-critics are those who really do their best in just about everything they do, in the core desire to contribute more love and light to the world (me included). When things don’t go in the direction we hoped for, we have a strong tendency to ask questions that are rooted in self-blame, guilt, and sometimes, self-pity.
In working with people and myself, I find that the quickest way to loosen up and stop disempowering ourselves, is simply ask more questions. Questions of a different nature.
What do I mean by that?
You want to ask questions that make you feel light inside. Not heavy.
Notice when you ask “Why is this happening to me?” You feel a certain heaviness somewhere in your body.
Now try asking instead, “What else is possible?”
That heaviness has lifted from your body and now you’re feeling lighter, yes? That is the kind of question that you want to be asking and filling your mind with instead.
Do not fix or push for answers. Just let them appear as they will.
Here’s a list to help you spark the process … feel free to modify them as you feel fit.
What else is possible?
What is ONE thing that I can be or have NOW that would make me feel better?
How can I open up to new possibilities?
What kinds of new thoughts about this situation would serve me?
How can I grow from this?
What would it take for me to move forward with ease?
Your mind is now being re-wired thanks to your openness to change. So just observe what new possibilities and thoughts come to your mind as you practice this new question.